Allah knows best. We all say it, yet act as if we really think otherwise.

Allahu alim. It rolls so easily off the tongue. Why, then, are we always speculating about the how's and why's of things? Specifically, about salvation and relationships. As the world's fastest growing religion, Islam reaches people in a variety of ways. Many times, it is through a romantic relationship....or, the pursuit of one. As a woman, I can only speak from my experience as such. As the numbers of single, and divorced, grows, the options are dwindling. Many men will approach us in respectable ways. I have no issue telling a man, in layman's terms, that there are layers to it. My faith is not negotiable, and anything you find favorable in me is rooted in it. I have several Muslim-born friends and acquaintances who have married reverts. In some cases, the guy converted because he knew she wouldn't marry him otherwise. I'm disturbed by how people respond to these situations. "S/He only did it to get her/him." "We'll see how long s/he stays Muslim." So what? If we believe that, as Islam teaches, only Allah makes Muslims....SO WHAT??? There are lots of Muslim-born folks who may not die as such. Who are we to question the means by which someone may be guided to Allah? Maybe retention issues would be minimized if people showed others Love instead of speculation. So, I'm going to ask Allah to continue to guide us, by whatever means He deems fit. Ameen.

The Nutrition-Cognition Connection

There are several health conditions that can manifest as school issues for kids. At times, concentration and cognitive difficulties have reasons we often overlook. I'm going to briefly touch on three. This information is just that, information. It is not intended for medical or diagnostic use. It is my hope that parents will be more mindful inputs with their kids via diet and such, and reflective when they have challenges with outputs. In this day of increasing academic and behavioral challenges for kids, the connection between nutrition and cognition/behavior is almost always overlooked. The first is reactive hypoglycemia. Symptoms of the reactive type typically occur within the first few hours of eating. In some people, the reaction occurs almost immediately after ingesting something. When that happens, it's usually due to a sugar spike instead of true low blood sugar. I've included the symptoms that could become problematic for kids in the school setting. The following list can be used as an informative guideline but a conclusive diagnosis can only be made by a physician. * Difficulty sleeping - this includes difficulty getting to sleep as well as remaining asleep. * Heart palpitations (fluttering) or fibrillation (irregular pulse) * Extreme fatigue that has no other known cause * Headache - ranging from mild to severe * Sweating without any physical exertion or hot, humid weather conditions * Depression, mood swings and feelings of isolation * Light-headedness or difficulty maintaining balance * Agitation, excitement, feeling anxious * Cognitive difficulties - forgetfulness, lack of rational processes and/or the inability to perform simple mental tasks * Panic attacks with no perceptible cause * Confusion, Disorientation Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7619176 The second is vitamin deficiencies. Here are some notable ones. Vitamin B1 (Thiamine) Thiamine deficiency is very common in psychiatric patients. It is associated with anxiety, depression, fearfulness, agitation, emotional instability, irritability, and night terrors. It is most common in alcoholics and patients that are malnourished. Agoraphobic patients and patients with anxiety disorders are often thiamine deficient. Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin) Riboflavin deficiencies can affect mood, behavior, sleep, memory, and concentration. Patients commonly are aggressive, depressed, anxious, and suffer from panic attacks and migraines. Reduced levels of riboflavin inhibit the body’s use of a lot of medications and oxidative stress is often a problem. Vitamin B3 (Niacin) Niacin deficiencies are noted in many cases of schizophrenia, chronic fatigue, insomnia and chronic headache. Memory problems are also common in patients with this deficiency. Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid) Vitamin B5 deficiency is rare. Sufferers may experience excessively hot feet, recurring upper respiratory infections, fatigue, insomnia, depression, irritability, vomiting, or stomach pains. Vitamin B5 is sometimes referred to as the “anti-stress” vitamin because of its regulatory effect on stress hormones. Vitamin B6 Vitamin B6 deficiency can cause irritability, severe PMS, fatigue, depression, anxiety and confusion. Many people have electric shock sensations, paresthesias (tingling, burning, pricking, or numbness), and extreme anxiety. About half of agoraphobic patients are usually B6 deficient. Vitamin B7 (Biotin) Deficiencies in biotin are most common in those taking anti-seizure medications, long-term antibiotics, or people with trouble absorbing nutrients. Symptoms include numbness, tingling, strange pain sensations (usually in extremities), weakness, fatigue, lethargy, and hallucinations. Vitamin B9 (Folate) Folate helps to regulate your pain response, mood, and sleep patterns. If it’s low, you may experience hostility, chronic headaches, paranoid behavior, panic, forgetfulness, irritability, and apathy. Folate deficiency is usually accompanied by low serotonin levels and depression. In contrast, high levels have been shown to sometimes induce mania in some patients with bipolar disorder, and can interfere with some mood stabilizing medications. Vitamin B12 B12 deficiency usually starts with depression, and can be followed by psychosis, slow mental processes, mania, confusion, forgetfulness, and memory loss. Lower B12 levels are not always present in depressed patients, but are almost always present in depressed patients with psychosis. Magnesium Magnesium deficiency is often accompanied by low serotonin and dopamine levels. Symptoms of a deficiency can be apathy, irritability, anxiety, personality changes, and behavioral changes. Low magnesium levels are associated with an imbalance of lactate to pyruvate in the body, which is indicative of many psychiatric conditions, like schizophrenia. Studies show that most patients with chronic pain have low magnesium levels, and show that the most disturbed patients have either high or low magnesium levels. Vitamin C (Sodium Ascorbate) The first symptom of vitamin C deficiency is usually depression. Other symptoms may be fatigue, reduced arousal, apathy, and reduced motivation. Because vitamin C, or sodium ascorbate, is necessary to produce serotonin, people deficient in it may experience severe depression and extreme anxiety. Vitamin C calms the nervous system and helps to regulate the stress response of the body. About the Author: Phil Le Breton is owner at Wholesale Nutrition. He has a strong interest in helping people achieve greater brain and body health with vitamins and supplements, with an emphasis on vitamin C powder. Wholesale Nutrition has provided the world with the best vitamin C and wholesale vitamins since 1970. Visit http://www.nutri.com to buy high-quality discount vitamins today! Sources: http://www.nutritional-healing.com.au/content/articles-content.php? heading=The%20Role%20of%20Minerals%20and%20Vitamins%20in%20Mental%20Health http://www.angelfire.com/home/bphoenix1/vitmin.html http://nutri.com/blog/2012/01/vitamin-deficiencies-that-cause-psychiatric-symptoms/ The third, and last, is lead poisoning. The CDC says about 310,000 American kids (1 to 5 years old) have blood-lead levels over 10 micrograms/dL. A U.S. child's main risk of lead poisoning comes from the lead-based house paints in near-universal use before 1950. The paints were banned for housing use in 1978. An estimated 24 million U.S. housing units -- which some 4 million young children call home -- have deteriorated lead paint contributing to lead-contaminated house dust. "Very small particles of paint get into household dust you cannot see," Rosen says. "That gets on hair, fingers, toys, and skin. Through normal hand-mouth activity, that paint is absorbed." How long it takes a child to absorb toxic levels of lead depends on the concentration of lead in the dust. Rosen says that in a typical lead-contaminated housing unit, it takes one to six months for a small child's blood-lead levels to rise to a level of concern. "If the amount of hand-to-mouth activity is robust, and the concentrations of lead in that housing unit are substantial, it does not take long," he warns. Continue reading below... What about the recently discovered lead paint on children's toys? "In terms of pervasiveness and widespread distribution of those toys, only time will tell how many children will be identified who develop lead poisoning. At the present time that is unknown, although the risk is definite," Rosen says. As you sort through your child's toy box, are you thinking of asking your pediatrician for a lead poisoning test ? Some folks on our Parenting: 9-12 Months message board are doing just that. Read their comments and share yours. What Are the Risks of Lead Poisoning? Rosen says the ultimate effects of lead on children include: Loss of IQ points Impairments in language fluency or communication Memory problems Trouble paying attention Lack of concentration Poor fine-motor skills Difficulty with planning and organization Difficulty forming abstract concepts Poor cognitive flexibility (trying something else if the first thing you try doesn't solve a problem) "To fully test children to see if there are any adverse outcomes from lead poisoning cannot be done until they reach their sixth birthday," Rosen says. "Many of these symptoms don't manifest until age 6 or 7 years. What a parent might know before that might well be some common complaints such as speech delay, hyperactivity, not being able to sit/listen/learn in school, and not being able to focus. Those observations may be the result of earlier childhood lead poisoning." Is Your Child at Risk of Lead Poisoning? Except in those rare cases in which a child ingests a huge amount of lead, lead poisoning has no obvious, immediate symptoms. "Over time, you may notice tiredness, nonspecific belly complaints, or a child may become anemic," Benitez says. "Unless you are eating blocks of lead, there are no acute or sudden symptoms that would appear in minutes. That is the problem with lead -- the subtle, slow dose over time." http://www.webmd.com/children/news/20070815/lead-poisoning-and-kids?page=2 This is just an brief mention of these particular conditions, but there are many more. I hope that parents are motivated to look further into these issues. I'll be touching on foods that may be beneficial in a later post. Love and Light!

Authenticity

Authentic. adjective. Conforming to fact and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief. In these days of "keeping it 100," "being a bad bish," and "keepin' it real," we have lost ourselves. I mean, we fake it. We're all faking it about something. And that is ok. Imagine if we stopped laughing or smiling. Picture a world where you don't have kids looking to you for guidance through tough times, never being able to push past the heartbreaking anguish of missing your dead parent, or the lost of your ability to hide all the ish you know you don't want anyone to know. For me, authentic is about being vulnerable, not feigning invincibility or perfection. It's about being grown, even when I want to engage in all the childish bs swirling overhead. It's about crying sometimes, even when I want to keep smiling. We all use social media for our own purposes. I didn't feel compelled to make mine an Islamic page. It is inherently so. I am a Muslim. I pray that I never say anything that comes across as arrogant, as I am nothing more than a Lover and servant. I am a person. With all the shortcomings and flaws that our frail humanity encompasses. I have not always been this way. There was a time when I tried to be utterly and completely perfect. I got so caught up in the pursuit of perfection that I sacrificed my authenticity. I robbed myself of evolution and elevation in my refusal to show vulnerability. Pain is often the nemesis of authenticity, but always standing in the way of it. So, I won't always smile. I won't always be in the best frame of mind. Or using the best perspective. I am authentically, unapologetically, undeniably imperfect. In those moments, I pray that someone will be praying for me instead of preying on me.

The Realization

You can't go back to What has never left you Accompanied you during All that you've been through Now has become What you once called later Now is the moment You yearn for the fayda Life has forced you to finally take a Moment to reflect, Remember your Maker So this can't really be called A new beginning It's more fitting to say A new ending.

My Life Is Not My Own

My Suns are my happiness in this life. I truly feel that they have been a Mercy and a protection from my Lord. Some have asked, how? The simple answer....My life is not my own. I remember the first time I looked into my husband's eyes, my own filled with confusion. I wasn't sure what I had done, but I knew I'd done something wrong. Over time, I learned to do nothing...don't speak, don't ask, don't complain. That's how fights started. How car keys were taken, phones confiscated. Peace was shrouded in silence. Where there was silence, there was peace. I needed the house, the kids, the thoughts racing through my mind to be QUIET. I didn't know that sadness often hid in silence as well. As my spirit was silenced, my heart saddened. My Suns were my greatest Loves, but I couldn't enjoy them because they were also my greatest worries. Did they hear us? Did they know how unhappy I was? Did they think it was my fault? Would they ever forgive me for breaking up our home? I had tried so hard to shield and protect them from the truth that they'd essentially lived a lie. Until the truth came crashing in. The truth was raised voices, condemning words. The truth was me crying on the floor of our tiny living room in that basement apartment. Mattresses on floors, blankets made makeshift dining areas. The truth was friends buying groceries, family driving us around. My life was making sure that little bellies were full, little bodies were well dressed and rested. In having to do it on my own, my life was not my own. Credit card bills mounted, my anxiety peaked. While I was falling apart inside, things were coming together. We moved into a bigger place, I got a car, I was no longer living on credit or depending on friends for necessities. I put as much of our old life back in place as I was able to. Basketball at the Y, purchased a trumpet for those band classes, art-based playgroups...I was making it happen. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I had gotten so caught up in providing for them that I wasn't caring for them like I once had. I knew they needed men around. So, I surrounded them with friends who I felt would be good influences, oblivious to the fact that many had agendas of their own. The most awkward existence is one of being physically present but emotionally unavailable. Healing had been placed on hold. I had to be ready at a moment's notice to fill in the gaps that inevitably occur when co-parenting doesn't happen. Role models became a revolving roster of creative, pseudo-platonic Baba's, Uncle's and Amu's. It was ok though, I had our faith as the foundation. Until I made a really bad decision in a moment of feigned enlightenment. I got "married" again. I did not Love him, nor did he Love me. But we were doing it "for the pleasure of Allah, so it couldn't go wrong." Right? Wrong! I knew better. My parents had taught me that you can't start off wrong and expect things to turn out right. I didn't repeat my previous relationship. I found a whole new way to be in a bad relationship. I created an entirely new set of worries. In trying to provide them with a live-in male role model, I only showcased a new list of "do-nots." I regrouped by doing more. I did all the "stuff" I was supposed to. Counseling, community service, extracurricular activities, exposure to arts and culture...you name it, I did it. Healing, however, was still on hold. Healing came in the midst of the next storm. My Daddy died, we feared my Mom was dying...and I had to keep going. There was no shoulder for me to lean on. I was the shoulder. I looked at my life, and my heart broke. Would my suns miss me the way I missed my father? Care for me the way I cared for my mother? At that time, I would've said yes without hesitation. Today, I'm not so certain. Holding it all together can be perceived in many ways. Especially by children. I didn't yell, cry, scream, or break outwardly. I didn't dignify the lies and slander with a response. Indifference was like warm cocoa on a winter day as a coping mechanism. It filled in the spaces where healing was needed most. It's hard to know the difference after a while...unless something hurts you. For me, it was the day my sun looked me in the eye and said, "I hate you. You don't care about anything." I wanted to scream, cry and yell in that moment. I wanted to show him credit card bills and bank statements. I wanted to throw my hand mended pieces of resale clothing at his feet. I wanted to express how absolutely exhausted I was. I wanted to hurt, but I understood how he felt that way. I never acted like I cared. I began to pray for healing, and it came. It remained elusive for so long that I almost didn't recognize it. The busy-ness never helped...I am one of the busiest people I know. It definitely didn't lie within the lines of the lovelorn poetry I was known for. It came in falling apart. Realizing that I could not control everything, and wasn't meant to. Accepting that I was doing more than I was designed for. Understanding that my deepest strength was rooted in my ability to be vulnerable. To know that my life was not my own, nor was it my Suns'....it was a gift, an opportunity to fulfill my purpose, to evolve, to Love.

The Formula

We all talk about the Love we want. Not so much about the Love we have to give. We ask God to send us things. Rarely, to prepare us to receive and appreciate them. I've learned that wanting is the nemesis of happiness, and I strive to be grateful more than anything else. I've "lost" a lot, and found parts of myself that would've gone unnoticed otherwise. Meeting people where they are means knowing where I am as well...some of our paths will not intersect, or even meant to. I say all that to say....Give more, want less, expect nothing. Peace

Why Are You Always in a Bad Mood?

So often, we view depression as sadness and despair. While these feelings may be at the root of what we are dealing with, they may not be easily recognized. For many, depression is a time of explosive outbursts, self-imposed isolation, and lashing out at others. So, here are a few things to look out for if you're concerned about sudden changes in a loved one's moods. -Changes in sleep/eating patterns -Easily irritated/more irritable than usual -Expressions of feeling hopeless/worthless -Social withdrawal/isolation -Losing interest in hobbies -Lashing out with little or no provocation Now, be mindful that we will all experience difficulties. We may even have these issues mentioned above. However, we are typically able to bounce back. If these issues persist for more than a few weeks, you may want to see your doctor. This is for informational use only, and is not intended for diagnostic use.

That fried chicken is halal, right?

Growing up in a multicultural, interfaith family, I've seen ethnocentrism and evangelism at its best...and worst. I was fortunate enough to be raised in a tolerant environment that not only embraced difference, but also celebrated it. As an adult, I have witness dozens, if not hundreds, of individuals accept Islam as their faith. These people come from a variety of educational, racial, socio-economic, ethnic, and religious backgrounds. I have also noticed several trends, and that is what I want to explore a bit. I want to preface this by saying that this is simply an observation, not a criticism. As a clinical therapist, I am fascinated by human behavior in all spheres. As humans, we all use defense mechanisms. Most times, they help us in dealing with issues that we find painful or uncomfortable. So, you might ask, how could that have anything to do with embracing a new faith? Well, it really depends on where you are coming from. Some people come into Islam from a minimal religious/spiritual background. Others come with many years of experience, negative and positive. Then there are those who come into the faith seeking to intellectualize it. This brings us to the first defense mechanism, projection. According to psychology.about.com, projection is a defense mechanism that involves taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other people. For example, if you have a strong dislike for someone, you might instead believe that he or she does not like you. Projection works by allowing the expression of the desire or impulse, but in a way that the ego cannot recognize, therefore reducing anxiety. I have observed many cases where individuals become very judgmental and overly critical of anything they do not deem permissible or allowed. They often think the worst of people with very little evidence or provocation. The issues they point out are usually behaviors they have had to give up or are still struggling with. The, "She ain't even covered right. She probably don't even pray." Or, "I'm wearing niqaab because I don't need jealous sisters putting the eye on me." Men are not exempt from this behavior. You hear, "Those dudes are all in the dunya, I know what that looks like." Or, "Astaghfirullah, he always up in some sister's face. You know what that means." My first response is one of concern. I can only imagine the amount of anxiety that must accompany having to alter your lifestyle in so many ways. The second is intellectualization, and this often happens with the person who has embraced the faith with some uncertainty or with ulterior motives. According to psychology.about.com, Intellectualization works to reduce anxiety by thinking about events in a cold, clinical way. This defense mechanism allows us to avoid thinking about the stressful, emotional aspect of the situation and instead focus only on the intellectual component. For example, a person who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness might focus on learning everything about the disease in order to avoid distress and remain distant from the reality of the situation. With these individuals, you may find that they immediately don a hijab and abaya, learn Arabic, and study intensively. In a healthy individual, these things are not problematic. However, in someone who has unresolved issues, these can be a negative. They will tell you what you are doing wrong, and are able to quote you numerous ayat and hadith to support their position. They are the rule keepers. They may subsequently impose these rules on everyone else. For these people, I just try to stay mindful that they are probably overwhelmed with the amount of information they have taken in, and are also eager to be what they feel is a "good" Muslim. This brings us to denial, which functions to protect the ego from things that the individual cannot cope with. While this may save us from anxiety or pain, denial also requires a substantial investment of energy. Because of this, other defenses are also used to keep these unacceptable feelings from consciousness. Some individuals embrace Islam with zeal and fervor, to the point that they will seemingly forget their pre-Muslim life. While it may be annoying at first, it becomes less shocking when you have deeper conversations with these individuals. The remaining guilt for things they may have said or done before embracing the faith is so uncomfortable that they will deny it completely. Or they will go to great lengths to create a persona that opposes all of the issues they feel guilty about. This is where you will hear, "I can't believe she dresses like that." This is ironic given that this person may have dressed provocatively previously. Or you hear a guy talking about who spends a lot of time in the club, as though he had not been accompanying him previously. It is disheartening that what could be a wonderful opportunity to speak to the way that faith can facilitate change, ends up being a source of shame and pretense. Lastly, according to medicalglossary.org, identification is a process by which an individual unconsciously endeavors to pattern himself after another. This is something that occurs unconsciously. This is where an inability to distinguish between Islam and Arab culture can be problematic. These are the people who feel that their Islam is measured in terms of how "Arab" they can become. They will pursue Arab spouses, integrate every word of Arabic they speak into every conversation at every opportunity, denounce everything that is not Arab-focused, and minimize their own race or ethnicity. While I’ve focused on the behaviors of individuals, the bigger issue lies within the community. What have we put in place to support new Muslims? Many lose their biological families, and struggle to integrate into community life. What has happened that a new Muslim feels that they have to abandon their identity to be accepted. We can shun the sin, and still embrace the sinner. After all, we are ALL sinners trying to get to the same place, Jannatul-Firdos. We must embrace the newbies and the veterans alike. We must create social networks and support structures for the community at large. We must first speak to the hearts of people, as they are surely going to be in a state of awe as they embrace the Oneness of Allah swt. And then we can build on a solid foundation that allows them to distinguish between culture and ideology, instead of them idealizing cultural norms in lieu of religion. What a beautiful tapestry of humanity there is in Islam! We can celebrate all that we bring to the ummah as well as what others bring. I’m often seen in a kurti with jeans and stilettos. I love to wear a gelee head wrap with my dishdasha. Abayas and Chuck Taylors are staples in my wardrobe. You may want to try an Ao Dai ensemble with a pair of espadrilles…simply stunning. So, you go ahead and make that Sunday dinner Sis….yams, macaroni and cheese, greens, and fried chicken. I will gladly join you. All I’m going to ask is, “this fried chicken is halal, right?” I’ll even bring the salad. I’ve found that tabbouli is the perfect accompaniment to fried chicken.

Peace and Quiet, from the Inside Out

It's never been difficult for me. To be me, that is. As a Muslim woman, I cover and I pray. It's just part of being me. As a woman from the D, I embody strength and perseverance. Again, it's just a part of being me. I am me, regardless of where I am. To be in the presence of other Muslims doesn't solidify my relationship with the Most High any more than being in the presence of non Muslims negates it. The Detroit arts and activist communities have accepted me, as I am. I'm often photographed holding my dhikr beads, I'm provided with cups for istijak, and offered space to pray. One of my most memorable moments happened at an artist friend's Mother's Day gathering. I asked her if there was somewhere I could pray, and she was like sure. I was fine praying at the top of the stairs, but she took me into the basement and gave me a rug. I was struck by her comment, "I know you need somewhere quiet and peaceful." I thanked her and said, "Not really, my salat makes my heart quiet and peaceful." Quiet and peaceful? I'm a mother. I haven't had a quiet and peaceful moment in a very, VERY long time. With infants, you try to be as quiet as possible so you can pray before the baby needs to be held, fed, or changed. With toddlers, prayer seems to be their favorite playtime. I've had many times where I was tackled, hit by flying toys, accompanied by shrieks and giggles...all while just trying to pray. As they grew, I often made prayers twice. Once to watch them to offer correction when needed, then again by myself. Prayer time has recently become a quiet and peaceful time in my home. My older boys are 15 and 13. One leads, and the other does the call to prayer. My youngest is almost 7, and tries so hard to be like his big brothers. I stand behind them, tearful at times. So many times, my prayers were the only time I felt quiet and peaceful inside. Now, my Suns are a part of the process. And I'm grateful. I am finally able to pray in a quiet and peaceful place. With them.

To Be, or Not to Be...of Contribution, That Is

Just as we all have different experiences in life, we also have different definitions of various concepts. What does it mean to you to be of service? Of contribution? For some, this is something they only think of in regard to their family or inner circle. For others, they will ponder upon this in relation to the world at large. As part of trying to maintain balance in my life, I feel that we must be of service to others in order to evolve. Being of contribution to others fosters our mental, emotional and spiritual growth. It is also a great reminder to stay humble, be grateful, and remain faithful. “And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe’.” (14:7) This verse from the Holy Quran is the cornerstone of my perspective on service and charity. In being grateful for what we have, we must also want the same for others. This is an integral part of every faith and belief system. There is nothing wrong with enjoying nice things, especially when you have worked for them. However, there are also many blessings in sacrifice. Many of the small things we take for granted are the things that dreams are made of for others. How many bottles of unopened perfume do you have, clothes in the closet with tags on them, food that you have to throw out because it expired before you got to use it? If we took these small things, and used them for something outside of ourselves, the blessings would surely come. I have made being of contribution to others an integral part of my life. I will be sharing some of my experiences in the hope that others will see that helping others is not as difficult as you may think. I also hope to encourage others to reflect on the notion of "To be, or not to be...."

Intergenerational Love, Layer by Layer

At first, you may think I'm talking about a May-December love affair....or grandparents as parents. No, I'm talking about building a foundation, layer by layer. Generation by generation. It can be done in a way that shows the contribution and value of each. In taking care of our elders, we are showing our children how to take care of us. In honoring the ancestors, we model the importance of honoring and acknowledging your lineage and your history. In caring for our children, we model parenting. We will see them doing the same rituals and routines with their children that we did with them. Good and bad. Negative and positive. We are passing on cycles, and villages. What is the condition of your village? The condition of those in it? Family can take many forms, ties can be forged in faith, Love, and blood. What are you building?

Reflection and projection are not synonymous, though often confused. When one is seeing their reflection in others, they are observing a shared trait, behavior or aspiration. Inspiration often grows here. Projection is seeing others as being like you, good and bad. That can mar that whole reflection process. It's hard to see Love in others (and yourself) when all your grimy ways are well, in the way. So, if all you can see is the negative in others, reflect on it. It may help you to get your self out of the way and gain some clarity. As always, reminding myself first.