Give Me Five part 2--The Benefits Begin to Manifest

As you all know, I've been implementing Give Me Five into my daily life. Component 5 is fairly straightforward. Component 4 is also going well. I'm not as focused on weight as being more toned. I know that I'm making progress because I can fit into pants that I haven't worn in a long time.

Component 3 has taken on a life of its own. When I began this journey, it was strictly to develop more balance. We often neglect our spiritual activity, outside of what's required. However, as I've faced many challenges in my life lately, they have influenced my activity in this area. As a mental health professional, I know of a variety of coping skills. As a Muslima, I know that in addition to being a comfort, prayer is powerful. This is the area that I have been consistently exceeding my goal for. As I have become more grounded, I have seen many benefits manifest--I'm more productive, more focused, and more grounded.

Similarly, component 2 has been driven by my personal experiences. I have been seeking knowledge in areas that I realize I am lacking in. This has become a wonderful tool for self-reflection. I've also noticed something else. As we look for guidance and insight into issues of social and emotional health, there is limited representation of African-American women. We see many African-American men, and most have a varied and balanced foundation of knowledge. Yet, I see something else with the women. I see many women who are educated on social/emotional issues (mostly at the Bachelor's level), and they've acquired some formal Islamic training. I also see that most of them speak from a viewpoint that is ground in their spirituality. And that is beneficial to us all. However, as an African-American, there are experiences and dynamics at play, that most are unable to relate to.

As individuals, we exist largely within the context of our environment(s). As African-Americans, this is significant, as we are dealing with a unique set of circumstances and conditions. Our sons and daughters have unique needs. As I said, I began this as a way to grow and progress in a balanced way. I now believe that I ended up in this place for a different reason. If not for circumstances that I recently experienced myself, I think this would have been a very different experience. I have been guided to a number of things. First, there are many African-American male youth in need of positive male guidance...both inside and outside the Muslim community. I had developed an innovative mentoring program, but I was having difficulty garnering reliable support. I have revised the program, and am going to work on implementation-I pray that it will be in place by the time warmer weather comes, as this is when many children have lots of unstructured, unproductive time that allows them to fall into negative behaviors/activities. Second, I'm working on developing a support group for divorced women. Although divorce has increased in every community, there is very little support out here for divorced African-American sisters. As a divorced, single-parent, I can relate to these issues. As a mental health professional, I am familiar with the problems that can manifest--adjustment issues, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and social challenges. I can also help in the development of coping and communication skills to address these issues. In the future, I see doing a group for children in divorced homes as well. I am looking forward to where my steps will lead me, and where He is guiding them.

Lastly, component 1 of the plan is going well. I've been doing more than one vegetarian day. I've also been trying a variety of new recipes that I probably wouldn't have otherwise. I look forward to keeping you all posted as I continue on my journey. I appreciate your time and support. Sending prayers and positivity to all!

Give Me Five

In this journey we call life, we must stop and take note of what we have learned along the way. I believe this takes sincere and focused self-reflection. We must also maintain ourselves in a holistic way, this is the only way that progress is possible. We exist physically, mentally/emotionally, and spiritually, and must attend to all these aspects of ourselves. Give Me Five was inspired by a friend who embarked on a personal quest for growth called Project 31...it was a month that she utilized to work on various aspects of herself. She motivated me so much that I decided to come up with my own version to fit my quest for self-reflection and self-improvement. It is a 5 component plan that addresses multiple areas. I was blessed to have access to resources and individuals that helped me fine tune this process. The plan is as follows, on a weekly basis:

5 daily prayers
4 days a week of physical activity
3 day a week of extra spiritual work(fasting, meditation, dhikring, witr, tahajjud)
2 days a week of knowledge acquisition (lectures, literature, workshops, etc.)
1 day a week of vegetarian diet

I'd started a couple weeks ago, but had to postpone it due to not feeling well. So, this week I'm starting back. I intend to share with you all as I embark on this part of my journey on a weekly basis. I will be sharing links to resources, and book titles, and so forth as applicable.

Sending lots of prayers and positive energy to all!

The War Within

I had to walk away from the battle
To win the war within.
It was the only way I'd live
To love someone again.
Slowly, I came to cease to be
In order to be what you wanted of me.
Then one day, it all came apart
You said this wasn't in your heart.
As I choked on your words
As I swallowed the lies
It was in that moment
I began to despise.
Me, for allowing me
To cease to be me
Trying to
Make you happy
Throwing caution to the wind
Inviting you in
From the very start
I knew it wasn't right
'Cause it started off wrong
I lost my light
I took a wrong turn
I wandered the Path
I tried to make it right
But it didn't stand a chance.
So I'm not mad at you
But I can't respect you
Too often we forget
That the things we do
Are like raindrops in the ocean
With cascading effects.
Others are lost in the waves
Of our unhappiness
As the waves hit the shore
They are forced to witness
The breaking of a heart
The breakdown of home
The let down of this life
The put downs that go on
So, I've found myself again
Good to see you, old friend
I walked away from the battle
To win the war within.
I lived to fight another day,
I lived to love someone again.